Good Vibrations

When I was a kid I used to play in a band that air strummed to Beach Boy songs. I sang along while pretending to play my electronic kids guitar and my friend drummed. We played for a few weeks and usually played to "surfer girl", "surfin usa" and "surfin safari". I knew all the words and really got into it. We thought we were good. What was it about the beach boys that got us going? Maybe it was growing up in California with the whole surfer image and good vibes thing happening. It was the late seventies and I don't remember a better time to be a kid.

A great female vocal group from Glasgow gives off that same vibe with beach boys sounding licks. Check out Camera Obscura. Check out their album "underachievers please try harder".

Acceptable 3 Letter Words For Scrabble Players

AAH AAL AAS ABA ABO ABS ABY ACE ACT ADD ADO ADS ADZ AFF AFT AGA AGE AGO AHA AIDAIL AIM AIN AIR AIS AIT ALA ALB ALE ALL ALP ALS ALT AMA AMI AMP AMU ANA AND ANE ANI ANT ANY APE APT ARB ARC ARE ARF ARK ARM ARS ART ASH ASK ASP ASS ATE ATT AUK AVA AVE AVO AWA AWE AWL AWN AXE AYE AYS AZO BAA BAD BAG BAH BAL BAM BAN BAP BAR BAS BAT BAY BED BEE BEG BEL BEN BET BEY BIB BID BIG BIN BIO BIS BIT BIZ BOA BOB BOD BOG BOO BOP BOS BOT BOW BOX BOY BRA BRO BRR BUB BUD BUG BUM BUN BUR BUS BUT BUY BYE BYS CAB CAD CAM CAN CAP CAR CAT CAW CAY CEE CEL CEP CHI CIS COB COD COG COL CON COO COP COR COS COT COW COX COY COZ CRY CUB CUD CUE CUM CUP CUR CUT CWM DAB DAD DAG DAH DAK DAL DAM DAP DAW DAY DEB DEE DEL DEN DEV DEW DEX DEY DIB DID DIE DIG DIM DIN DIP DIS DIT DOC DOE DOG DOL DOM DON DOR DOS DOT DOW DRY DUB DUD DUE DUG DUI DUN DUO DUP DYE EAR EAT EAU EBB ECU EDH EEL EFF EFS EFT EGG EGO EKE ELD ELF ELK ELL ELM ELS EME EMF EMS EMU END ENG ENS EON ERA ERE ERG ERN ERR ERS ESS ETA ETH EVE EWE EYE FAD FAG FAN FAR FAS FAT FAX FAY FED FEE FEH FEM FEN FER FET FEU FEW FEY FEZ FIB FID FIE FIG FIL FIN FIR FIT FIX FIZ FLU FLY FOB FOE FOG FOH FON FOP FOR FOU FOX FOY FRO FRY FUB FUD FUG FUN FUR GAB GAD GAE GAG GAL GAM GAN GAP GAR GAS GAT GAY GED GEE GEL GEM GEN GET GEY GHI GIB GID GIE GIG GIN GIP GIT GNU GOA GOB GOD GOO GOR GOT GOX GOY GUL GUM GUN GUT GUV GUY GYM GYP HAD HAE HAG HAH HAJ HAM HAO HAP HAS HAT HAW HAY HEH HEM HEN HEP HER HES HET HEW HEX HEY HIC HID HIE HIM HIN HIP HIS HIT HMM HOB HOD HOE HOG HON HOP HOT HOW HOY HUB HUE HUG HUH HUM HUN HUP HUT HYP ICE ICH ICK ICY IDS IFF IFS ILK ILL IMP INK INN INS ION IRE IRK ISM ITS IVY JAB JAG JAM JAR JAW JAY JEE JET JEU JEW JIB JIG JIN JOB JOE JOG JOT JOW JOY JUG JUN JUS JUT KAB KAE KAF KAS KAT KAY KEA KEF KEG KEN KEP KEX KEY KHI KID KIF KIN KIP KIR KIT KOA KOB KOI KOP KOR KOS KUE LAB LAC LAD LAG LAM LAP LAR LAS LAT LAV LAW LAX LAY LEA LED LEE LEG LEI LEK LET LEU LEV LEX LEY LEZ LIB LID LIE LIN LIP LIS LIT LOB LOG LOO LOP LOT LOW LOX LUG LUM LUV LUX LYE MAC MAD MAE MAG MAN MAP MAR MAS MAT MAW MAX MAY MED MEL MEM MEN MET MEW MHO MIB MID MIG MIL MIM MIR MIS MIX MOA MOB MOC MOD MOG MOL MOM MON MOO MOP MOR MOS MOT MOW MUD MUG MUM MUN MUS MUT NAB NAE NAG NAH NAM NAN NAP NAW NAY NEB NEE NET NEW NIB NIL NIM NIP NIT NIX NOB NOD NOG NOH NOM NOO NOR NOS NOT NOW NTH NUB NUN NUS NUT OAF OAK OAR OAT OBE OBI OCA ODD ODE ODS OES OFF OFT OHM OHO OHS OIL OKA OKE OLDOLE OMS ONE ONS OOH OOT OPE OPS OPT ORA ORB ORC ORE ORS ORT OSE OUD OUR OUT OVA OWE OWL OWN OXO OXY PAC PAD PAH PAL PAM PAN PAP PAR PAS PAT PAW PAX PAY PEA PEC PED PEE PEG PEH PEN PEP PER PES PET PEW PHI PHT PIA PIC PIE PIG PIN PIP PIS PIT PIU PIX PLY POD POH POI POL POM POP POT POW POX PRO PRY PSI PUB PUD PUG PUL PUN PUP PUR PUS PUT PYAPYE PYX QAT QUA RAD RAG RAH RAJ RAM RAN RAP RAS RAT RAW RAX RAY REB REC RED REE REF REG REI REM REP RES RET REV REX RHO RIA RIB RID RIF RIG RIM RIN RIP ROB ROC ROD ROE ROM ROT ROW RUB RUE RUG RUM RUN RUT RYA RYE SAB SAC SAD SAE SAG SAL SAP SAT SAU SAW SAX SAY SEA SEC SEE SEG SEI SEL SEN SER SET SEW SEX SHA SHE SHH SHY SIB SIC SIM SIN SIP SIR SIS SIT SIX SKA SKI SKY SLY SOB SOD SOL SON SOP SOS SOT SOU SOW SOX SOY SPA SPY SRI STY SUB SUE SUM SUN SUP SUQ SYN TAB TAD TAE TAG TAJ TAM TAN TAO TAP TAR TAS TAT TAU TAV TAW TAX TEA TED TEE TEGTEL TEN TET TEW THE THO THY TIC TIE TIL TIN TIP TIS TIT TOD TOE TOG TOM TON TOO TOP TOR TOT TOW TOY TRY TSK TUB TUG TUI TUN TUP TUT TUX TWA TWO TYE UDO UGH UKE ULU UMM UMP UNS UPO UPS URB URD URN USE UTA UTS VAC VAN VAR VAS VAT VAU VAV VAW VEE VEG VET VEX VIA VIE VIG VIM VIS VOE VOW VOX VUG WAB WAD WAE WAG WAN WAP WAR WAS WAT WAW WAX WAY WEB WED WEE WEN WET WHA WHO WHY WIG WIN WIS WIT WIZ WOE WOG WOK WON WOO WOP WOS WOT WOW WRY WUD WYE WYN XIS YAH YAK YAM YAP YAR YAW YAY YEA YEH YEN YEP YES YET YEW YID YIN YIP YOB YOD YOK YOM YON YOU YOW YUK YUM YUP ZAG ZAP ZAX ZED ZEE ZEK ZIG ZIN ZIP ZIT ZOA ZOO

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free! We all yelled at the same time in unison. Everyone was free. From the turmoil, exhaustive assemblage of the disembodied life struggles and social torment. A capitulated existence where we slumber under the hard fist of the iron, relentless governments. Thick skinned, battered down, now brazen souls lashing out against everything in hopes of a meaning. Some kind of signal or recognition, the reckoning of war! What fears do we have then? The useless commercial haze of dollar bills, gold mines and oil refineries. The real black gold of yesteryear when slaves were the first method of gaining ground on the new capitalist ideals. The all sacrificing golgotha. Is there such a thing as getting ahead, getting a one-up on reality, the world, the universe?

Path Home

I'm pressing the doorbell of someone's apartment I don't know. The bell doesn't ring, it shorts out and creates a static short circuiting sound. The kind of sound a car battery makes when I accidentally touch one of the terminals with incorrect jumper cables. I press it once and my life changes. I press it twice and my ears reinvent themselves. I keep pressing and this song arises. Head now nodding, a baker comes outside across the street with a broom. He starts strumming it like a new-age mod rockstar. A homeless man asleep behind a few trash cans starts drumming on lids. People open up their windows and start waving arms, dancing. A girl in an apartment slowly gets up, opens her door and begins to decend the stairs from the 5th floor. She sings with a soft voice.

Ad Hoc

Everything matches
the symphonic weighing of
harmonic simplicity that flows
freely from brass and wooden lightshafts
postured easily next to the bold-type italicism
that steps up ready for the next fan clap, the newest
audition that takes composite notes and selects our greatest
ears...greatest fears and binds them to the next great curtain call...

FUSTILUGS

A grossly fat or slovenly woman.


In those moments when only insults will do, how good it is to turn to the inventive but unsung genius of everyday folk, whose local dialect is so often full of expressive abuse.
This one still has some small currency, mostly in Yorkshire I believe, though at one time it was widely known across a swathe of England ranging from Cumbria to Devon. That it will almost certainly be unknown to the object of your obloquy will add relish to your utterance, though it might not be too hard to work out it isn’t complimentary. It has rarely been written down outside dialect glossaries, but it did appear in 1621 in a long passage full of terms of opprobrium in The Anatomy of Melancholy by Robert Burton:

“Every lover admires his mistress, though she be ... a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs”.


Many people know lug as a dialectal or regional English term for the ear (a British comedian used to exhort his audience to listen carefully with the cry “pin back your lugholes!”). If that sense were intended, the term would mean “smelly ears”, suggesting that the person didn’t wash, a plausible origin. However, the Oxford English Dictionary is sure that it’s the idea of lugging around a heavy weight that’s at the root of the matter.

Everyone get bloggy

Smack your blog up! Professor Tunnel Vision Espress© says "get your blog on". That's the word on the street as of 1-89-0006. Filter mutation has swayed textual emotion since the inception of consciousness. Now with sloppy joe home delivery packs everyone can enjoy blogging as well as meat filled bread mitts. Forget the light sockets these bread mitts light themselves! Inside your guts mind you. Tungsten delivers extra vitamins as well as random black outs. Internal bleeding means your succeeding in life and brain hemorrhaging means your a successful blogger.

Sidenote: People will soon be able to get blogstamps at their local foodmart to be able to blog.

George Washington once said "I would like to someday be able to convey my thoughts with my hands without using a pen and see them on a magic light screen inwhich the whole world will be able to access and view." Please note this was George Washington Carver not the first president. Carver was noted as being crazy and people were afraid of his fascination with the peanut. Anyhoo...

What this means is if you aint blogging you ain't bleedin. And if you ain't bleedin then you certainly don't deserve no damn sloppy joe snackwhich. And if you don't deserve a sloppy joe, well then you just ain't livin.

So, blog up! Carver didn't invent the computer for nuttin.